This is what Earth is all about, finding your reason for being and your ultimate home frequency so you can become your highest self.

So why do we feel pulled towards others? What is the instant attraction we sometimes feel that can be so undeniably magnetic?

As we grow and live, small pieces of our essence are pulled away as we get hurt and as we experience trauma. These experiences cause us to shut off certain aspects of ourselves. We close off certain energy centres to protect ourselves and also to buffer the pain. We refer to this as coping.

However, it is always the desire for all beings to be whole. So when our soul identifies a quality we have lost or have never cultivated within another being, we use that person as a mirror. Sometimes we mistake that for romantic love. Please do not misunderstand me – there is still love of a certain kind, surely. This type of bond will teach you and through this codependency you will learn to piece yourselves back together. But in this process you may lose other factions of yourself along the way. Sometimes this can be a long and hard journey. Rather than romantic attraction, it may be beneficial to identify the attraction as something within that person you actually wish to build within yourself. Focus on achieving that task rather than allowing yourself to fall in love.

You must ultimately understand that no one else can complete you. You must first complete yourself fully. Relationships should not be about control and dominance, but should be about the sharing of two completely whole beings that bring joy to each other through their connection. There is no fear involved with this type of energy exchange. There is no judgment, there is only a perfect connection of love. Because both parties are already full and therefore seek nothing outside of themselves to complete their internal pattern. This is the way to seek and create a balanced love. Putting someone on a pedestal will always fail. Respect them and honour them, rejoice with them but don’t obsess or worship them as it will only cause you suffering. This is also why it is not good to look for or gravitate to external beauty. Beauty is fleeting and says very little about character. Beauty will not fulfill you; it’s nice to look at, but your mind and soul need more than just a vision for the long haul!

What this means is that you must honour all relationships as growth tools. You must have gratitude for them, but a wise man will seek to discern why this form of relationship has appeared. You may also find patterns in relationship exchanges that appear with frequency in your life. The universe trying to bop us over the head and say learn from this! You may have to experience the same pattern over and over and over until you completely understand the “why” to what it means to be whole.

Let me offer an example. Let’s say you are a giving person and you give and give too freely and open your heart with the abundance of love and gifts and essentially the keys to the kingdom. But you do not pre-qualify those you give to, ensuring they are positive and deserving beings. They might be takers that seek only to learn all they can and take all they can with no love or respect for you. What is the lesson here? The lesson you are meant to learn is to read and study the intentions and true auras of others before you invest into them. They will often show you their true colours quickly through both major and minor disrespect. But these are the red flags and warning signs that are teaching you to read other people accurately. The “why” is simple, you are learning this because it is helpful to know others for what they are so you can be at your highest good and service by building a team of authentically aligned beings. These patterns will repeat and come in many forms until you solidify the lesson into your heart and soul.

This can be true of romantic relationships as well. We can love the exterior of a person, but in doing so you are fixating on the physical and creating an imbalance. This will lead to unbalanced thoughts and an unbalanced nature. When we position our thoughts too heavily on the body, the mind will too often sink to lower desires that have little to do with true love.

You may ask, what is the point? Well, you can just look at the state of the world. People go from meaningless relationship to meaningless relationship with everything based on an external attraction. Little to no consideration is given to character and mental stimulation. This is a drive-through approach to connection that will leave you not only morally bankrupt, but spiritually desolate as well.

We need to build a society that can relearn the power of connection and what it means to foster true and lasting love. The love that is born from time and patience and not a sexy selfie. The type of pairing that is matched on respect and kindness and a spirit of learning and desire to know another deeply, not just for the mask they wear. Anyone can nip and tuck and fill and add just like a Christmas tree. But the things that will actually stand the test of time take a much more concerted effort.

If you want to end up with a queen, be a king in all that you do. Likewise, if you want to end up with a king, build yourself into a queen. That means building capabilities and attributes the best that you possibly can, in all facets of living. Hold yourself to the highest standard.

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Where they fall very short are with stress-induced ailments. And, unfortunately, most of our ailments these days just so happen to be caused by stress. Doctors are completely baffled by these things and often just imply that it’s all in your head. Which, yes it is – thanks Tips – but for a doctor, that will be the end of the conversation. Now you could pick that conversation up with a psychiatrist, but they don’t make any money if you get better. So best of luck with that option, hope you enjoy pills.

So we’re left to solve this riddle on our own. What, then, is the true source of this stress that is causing so many problems? Is it from being overworked? Is it from being underpaid? Is it from the build-up of all the daily aggravations of the modern world? Not really. They don’t help, but things like less nutritious food, chemical additives, electromagnetic radiation and a host of other toxins are much worse. But I really think it’s deeper, I believe it’s because something is missing. Energy is being blocked.

I feel that one of the biggest culprits out there are toxic relationships. Nowadays, it seems so many are stuck in unfulfilling relationships. It’s so prevalent that it’s considered normal now, and we all just help each other live with it. This is rooted in the unconscious or semi-conscious desires that have been ingrained in us by cultural and biological forces. The concept has officially been referred to as idealization or infatuation, if you’re doing some research.

We collectively forgot how to look for love. We forgot how to differentiate between lustful desires and strong, deep connections. We started believing that the feeling of neurochemicals releasing in our brain is a sign of love and real connection. We no longer care to remember that a true, lasting bond is formed exclusively through the heart. The rest is basically just temptation.

We used to strategically weed out “the rest” and seek that special someone. Now we just truck through the weeds until we end up trapped beside one of them, stuck in the swamp, convincing ourselves it’s our fault that the swamp is dirty. Then just live out our lives trying in vain to clean it and turn the swamp into a natural hot spring oasis. You’re going to need to move a mountain.

At least the elderly still remember what is real. And the elderly couples who have been together for 75 years or whatever do have a pretty solid consensus, which can be summarized with the phrase “Marry your best friend.” So maybe look for that person you never need a break from.

Of course, there are so many reasons people may stay in an unhealthy relationship. But I think a popular one is low self-esteem and feeling like you don’t deserve anything better, or that you won’t find anyone else and if you do they will probably leave you eventually. Or that you don’t want to spend that much time with somebody. That sort of thing. All of this keeps your vibes low, further blinding you to the bigger picture hidden in plain sight. Truth is, if you’re with the right person, spending the whole day together won’t seem like enough time.

But now we find ourselves in an uncertain world because no one is quite sure if love is even real any more. We are afraid to truly love any more. But love is light and without it, darkness can flourish. Without good energy flowing through your whole vessel, a void is left that bad things are happy to fill. That negativity lowers your vibration and causes problems that appear to defy explanation.

As far as being with the wrong person goes, many studies have shown that being in a bad relationship can harm not only your mental health, but your physical health as well. The stress of constant tension or conflicts in a relationship can keep your body in a fight-or-flight mode all the time, which causes your body to produce adrenaline and quickly discard the excess. This can eventually lead to fatigue, a weakened immune system and can even cause organ damage.

Researchers have found that women in bad relationships tend to have similarly high blood pressure and high blood sugar levels. It has been shown that the wrong relationship can put people at a higher risk of heart problems than those in healthy relationships. Research also found that being with the wrong person can even slow down the healing of wounds!

While life will always leave scars, wounds do heal. Our bodies do indeed regenerate, as do our spirits. Remember that darkness can only exist if light is blocked. Remove whatever is in your life that blocks your light, and you will shine. You will brighten the whole world and good things will gravitate to you while bad things will be repelled. You will heal emotionally and you will heal physically. And then you can start to live again.

SOURCES
The Hidden Health Hazards of Toxic Relationships
Impact of Toxic Relationships on Heart Health
Research Shows Bad Relationships Can Also Mean Bad Health
Proinflammatory Cytokine Production and Wound Healing
Negative Aspects of Close Relationships and Heart Disease

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