Eternal Insights

Why We Are Attracted To Others

Barbara McBean

by Barbara McBean

Energetic Magnetic Attraction

February 14, 2021


When we come to this world we are whole, but we are also evolving. Through the journey of life, we come to realize the “why” of being and not just the state of being. To know thy self. The self desires to know why it chooses the path it does, just as any scientist wants to know why the sky is blue. It is not enough to simply say “the sky is blue,” it is part of our nature to want to know why.

This is what Earth is all about, finding your reason for being and your ultimate home frequency so you can become your highest self.

So why do we feel pulled towards others? What is the instant attraction we sometimes feel that can be so undeniably magnetic?

As we grow and live, small pieces of our essence are pulled away as we get hurt and as we experience trauma. These experiences cause us to shut off certain aspects of ourselves. We close off certain energy centres to protect ourselves and also to buffer the pain. We refer to this as coping.

However, it is always the desire for all beings to be whole. So when our soul identifies a quality we have lost or have never cultivated within another being, we use that person as a mirror. Sometimes we mistake that for romantic love. Please do not misunderstand me – there is still love of a certain kind, surely. This type of bond will teach you and through this codependency you will learn to piece yourselves back together. But in this process you may lose other factions of yourself along the way. Sometimes this can be a long and hard journey. Rather than romantic attraction, it may be beneficial to identify the attraction as something within that person you actually wish to build within yourself. Focus on achieving that task rather than allowing yourself to fall in love.

You must ultimately understand that no one else can complete you. You must first complete yourself fully. Relationships should not be about control and dominance, but should be about the sharing of two completely whole beings that bring joy to each other through their connection. There is no fear involved with this type of energy exchange. There is no judgment, there is only a perfect connection of love. Because both parties are already full and therefore seek nothing outside of themselves to complete their internal pattern. This is the way to seek and create a balanced love. Putting someone on a pedestal will always fail. Respect them and honour them, rejoice with them but don’t obsess or worship them as it will only cause you suffering. This is also why it is not good to look for or gravitate to external beauty. Beauty is fleeting and says very little about character. Beauty will not fulfill you; it’s nice to look at, but your mind and soul need more than just a vision for the long haul!

What this means is that you must honour all relationships as growth tools. You must have gratitude for them, but a wise man will seek to discern why this form of relationship has appeared. You may also find patterns in relationship exchanges that appear with frequency in your life. The universe trying to bop us over the head and say learn from this! You may have to experience the same pattern over and over and over until you completely understand the “why” to what it means to be whole.

Let me offer an example. Let’s say you are a giving person and you give and give too freely and open your heart with the abundance of love and gifts and essentially the keys to the kingdom. But you do not pre-qualify those you give to, ensuring they are positive and deserving beings. They might be takers that seek only to learn all they can and take all they can with no love or respect for you. What is the lesson here? The lesson you are meant to learn is to read and study the intentions and true auras of others before you invest into them. They will often show you their true colours quickly through both major and minor disrespect. But these are the red flags and warning signs that are teaching you to read other people accurately. The “why” is simple, you are learning this because it is helpful to know others for what they are so you can be at your highest good and service by building a team of authentically aligned beings. These patterns will repeat and come in many forms until you solidify the lesson into your heart and soul.

This can be true of romantic relationships as well. We can love the exterior of a person, but in doing so you are fixating on the physical and creating an imbalance. This will lead to unbalanced thoughts and an unbalanced nature. When we position our thoughts too heavily on the body, the mind will too often sink to lower desires that have little to do with true love.

You may ask, what is the point? Well, you can just look at the state of the world. People go from meaningless relationship to meaningless relationship with everything based on an external attraction. Little to no consideration is given to character and mental stimulation. This is a drive-through approach to connection that will leave you not only morally bankrupt, but spiritually desolate as well.

We need to build a society that can relearn the power of connection and what it means to foster true and lasting love. The love that is born from time and patience and not a sexy selfie. The type of pairing that is matched on respect and kindness and a spirit of learning and desire to know another deeply, not just for the mask they wear. Anyone can nip and tuck and fill and add just like a Christmas tree. But the things that will actually stand the test of time take a much more concerted effort.

If you want to end up with a queen, be a king in all that you do. Likewise, if you want to end up with a king, build yourself into a queen. That means building capabilities and attributes the best that you possibly can, in all facets of living. Hold yourself to the highest standard.

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